Welcome to part two of Beer Styles 101.

Last week, we began by tackling the two big styles - lagers and ales - as well as some of the more popular ales that most micro-brewers produce.

This week, let’s go over some more of the other beer styles you may have heard of, probably during a conversation with a beer snob.

Hopefully after this informal lesson, no longer will you name-drop Rolling Rock when talking about your favorite pale ale.

Onward...

Life is Not Necessarily Too Short to Drink Cheap Beer

Who likes cheap beer? Anyone?

Nobody admits to being a cheap beer connoisseur – but it’s out there, in dorm rooms and in beer pong cups. Not many claim to love it, but a heck of a lot of college kids drink it, mostly because they’re broke.

It would be a disservice for me, a self-proclaimed beer cacahuate, to completely ignore the realm of cheap beer. Besides, in this day and age, we could all stand to save a buck or two.

Cheap beers, or “big, dumb beers” as I call them, have kind of a bad name in this day and age of microbreweries everywhere, but we can’t ignore them. I’d be willing to bet your first beer was something cheap and skunky. Never forget your big, dumb beer roots. And even the stuffiest of beer snobs have a big, dumb guilty beer pleasure, no matter how much they’ll tell you they don’t.

What’s my big dumb beer of choice?

I need you in my life, Mocha Death

This week’s Exceptional Brew: Mocha Death by Ellensburg’s Iron Horse Brewery.

Even though I’m expected to give my opinion about beer each week, I often feel the need to be objective and try to play the Devil’s Avocado when I’m reviewing beer. It must be my journalisty side or something.

But this week, I’m going to dispense of my usual pretension and just tell you outright: I LOVE this beer.

I actually find myself craving it. I hope this just means I’m in love with this particular brew and that I’m not necessarily a raging alcoholic. The whole alcoholic lifestyle seems a bit inconvenient.

The recipe for Mocha Death is quite simple. Take Quilter’s Irish Death (a light, sweet, dark porter that the Iron Horse Brewery lovingly describes as “beer candy”) and add liberal amounts of espresso beans and pure cocoa.

What you get is a chocolate coffee bean in beer form.

Dos Equis Ambar - Corona's More Sophisticated, Ultimately Cooler Older Brother

This week I ask the attention of those of you who are fans of Corona Extra – the beer that gives you the beach, the sand and the crabs.

Anyone who enjoys Corona tends to do so with a lime stuffed into the bottle. The reason isn’t just aesthetic; any self-respecting beer drinker will tell you that Corona without the lime tastes like Chihuahua urine. Just trust me on this. It does.

Why? Corona is sold in those wonderful clear glass bottles, which allows all that sunlight to hit the beer and cause the hops to react adversely – which creates that skunkiness that people associate with a limeless Corona.

A lot of people don’t care about that. As long as the lime is tucked in the bottle, the taste is almost non-existant, making a completely inoffensive and safe beer that you can slam down all night. Plus, the neat logo makes you look cool doing so.

I don’t mean to completely single out Corona. You can insert the name of your favorite beer that you must turn into a fruit salad in order to stomach it.

Stone Smoked Porter - It's Devilicious

EXCEPTIONAL BREW #1

Stone Smoked Porter
Concocted by: Stone Brewing Co.
Awesomeness by Volume (ABV): 5.9% alcohol
Chuggable in: 22 oz bottle
Get it at: Happy’s Market

Let's look at a big, bad, arse-kicking beer: Stone Smoked Porter, by Stone Brewing Company of Escondido, Ca. They’re the company that makes the big bottles with gargoyles on them. You may have seen some of their other concoctions, like Arrogant Bastard or Ruination IPA. They’re fans of complex, unruly, dangerous beer.

Why’d I pick this? I really like beer that holds my taste buds at gunpoint. I love beer that dumbfounds them, forces them to figure out exactly what it is they are tasting; beer that makes my brain come up with interesting ways of describing the experience.

I admit, I’m not exactly a beer snob, and thus don’t know all the technical jargon and whatnot – but I’m sure you’ll get the idea. So let me describe what my brain tends to conjure up when I drink this week’s Exceptional Brew.