I need you in my life, Mocha Death

This week’s Exceptional Brew: Mocha Death by Ellensburg’s Iron Horse Brewery.

Even though I’m expected to give my opinion about beer each week, I often feel the need to be objective and try to play the Devil’s Avocado when I’m reviewing beer. It must be my journalisty side or something.

But this week, I’m going to dispense of my usual pretension and just tell you outright: I LOVE this beer.

I actually find myself craving it. I hope this just means I’m in love with this particular brew and that I’m not necessarily a raging alcoholic. The whole alcoholic lifestyle seems a bit inconvenient.

The recipe for Mocha Death is quite simple. Take Quilter’s Irish Death (a light, sweet, dark porter that the Iron Horse Brewery lovingly describes as “beer candy”) and add liberal amounts of espresso beans and pure cocoa.

What you get is a chocolate coffee bean in beer form.

I have to add a small disclaimer though: if you’re not an espresso freak like I am, you may not appreciate the taste of this brew the same way I do. If you enjoy coffee, you’re going to be thrilled.

Espresso is the predominant taste – it obliterates any semblance of hops (the ingredient that contributes to the “bitterness” of beer), and it tames the maltiness of the original Irish Death. The coffee aftertaste will not go away. Maybe after you brush your teeth three or four times.

Mocha Death doesn’t deserve to be chugged out of the bottle. It needs to be poured into a pint glass, so you can not only see its sultry dark complexion and head that never goes away, but also so you can smell the coffee. This could be the strongest-smelling beer I’ve ever had.

This isn’t necessarily a beer to be paired with food – it should be enjoyed on its own. However, the brewery insists you pour Mocha Death over a scoop of vanilla ice cream – an idea that would make Satan blush.

With a hefty awesomeness-by-volume (ABV) at 7 percent, I don’t think you have to worry about an, uh, caffeine buzz.

My only issue with the beer: It is only available in a 22 oz. bottle in stores, and this beer is practically a dessert. I actually had trouble finishing the bottle – a first for me. Usually I can finish beer I love.

Another issue: Don’t get too hung up on it. Mocha Death is a Beer Shoppe Anniversary Ale, a brew made specifically for the Beer Shoppe, a popular vendor in Yakima. In other words, it’s a Limited Edition. As far as when the beer will leave the shelves, I’m not completely sure. But in my own experience, as soon as I profess my love for a product, it disappears. I think people follow me.

As soon as you finish reading my column, go out and buy eight bottles of this stuff, if you like coffee, chocolate and beer (all at the same time, preferably). Maybe if Iron Horse realizes how popular it is, it will become an Unlimited Edition beer.

I need you in my life, Mocha Death.